Today was the closing conversation for a B.O.O.K. Club I joined for The Sum of Us. I just thought I’d share some of my thoughts that I’m gonna be pondering for the next little while coming out of that closing conversation.
Two potential paradoxes were discussed:
- Is tolerance a form of intolerance?
- Is inclusivity exclusive?
Part of me thinks these are paradoxes, and part of me thinks there’s some nuance to be discovered about why these aren’t actually paradoxes.
McGhee talks about the hidden wound, which refers to the suffering of white people as they bump up against their complicity with historical racism. I had a thought comparing how this shows up with Terry Real’s concept of the adaptive child, which is how we tend to show up when we’re on autopilot in the face of a threat.
Finally, a more meta-reflection: I thought this closing session was facilitated particularly well. I don’t know if this is an actual observation or just a story I had about the session, but it seems like the facilitator always looked for the common ground in the conversation. I thought there were moments where he disagreed with something that was said, but would always respond by focusing on something that seemed to be more like common ground. I could be totally making that up, but there was something going on that had me pretty impressed with how the conversation was facilitated.
Anyhow, I’ll continue thinking. Perhaps I’ll write a follow-up blog post in the future as I start to work through some of these ideas.