Collecting Evidence

I began to see how I’d been stoking the most negative parts of myself, caught up in the notion that everything was unfair and then assiduously, like a Harvard-trained lawyer, collecting evidence to feed that hypothesis. I now tried out a new hypothesis: It was possible that I was more in charge of my happiness than I was allowing myself to be. I was too busy resenting Barack for managing to fit workouts into his schedule, for example, to even begin figuring out how to exercise regularly myself. I spent so much energy stewing over whether or not he’d make it home for dinner that dinners, with or without him, were no longer fun.

“Becoming” by Michelle Obama

I first revisited this quote last night. This morning, I realized the similarity to something that I was discussing with some friends this weekend at our weekly coffee and discussion group: The Law of Attraction.

I’ve been so focused on my stressors recently that stress has been taunting all my experiences recently. So in the spirit of not stoking the negative parts and just allowing them to be, this morning I thought I’d return to a practice of gratitude.

So in no particular order…

I’m grateful that some of the condos I’ve been looking at haven’t resulted in a closed deal because now I’ve changed my strategy to be more long-term focused. I’m also grateful that I have this flexibility to pivot and change approaches as I continue to search for a place

I’m grateful that my parents have been helping with the search and providing their perspective on things. I’m new to the whole notion of searching, and while I know to look for some things, there are other things that I agree are important that I wouldn’t have noticed without their help. I’m also grateful that they’ve been helping with research on their own time, helping me navigate the various institutions along the way, and spending time to come out to many open houses with me.

I’m grateful that I’m able to get a ride with my sister to Surrey in the morning as it reduces the duration of my morning commute. I’m also grateful that work is allowing me to work from home most of the time while I try to find a new place to live.

I’m grateful that my work gives me the flexibility to go to the gym during my break. Work also allows me to explore new ideas and career paths, and also to step out of things that aren’t working well for me. I’m also grateful that as much as we’re a rapidly growing company, I’m not just a number here–the CEO and several of the executives know me by name.

I’m grateful that there are so many opportunities in my life to learn new things. I’m grateful for the brilliant people I’ve worked with who have taught me many of the skills and much of the knowledge I have today. I’m grateful for the books that have been published over many centuries, sharing wisdom that was acquired in the past yet is still applicable today. And I’m grateful for all the extra-curricular classes, people in those classes, and people who have introduced me to those classes as I’ve picked up invaluable practices from participating over the years.

I’m grateful for my teachers in the past who gave me the foundations of my education, who helped me to realize that I was responsible for the results I was producing in school, and for checking in on me when I was going through difficult periods.

I am grateful to and for my exes. I was able to get to know some amazing people, the things that drove them, and the things that they were struggling with. At the same time, I was able to learn about myself, my preferences, how I show up differently when under or in the absence of pressure, and different things that I struggle with.

I am grateful that I have friends who care about how I’m feeling and who take the time and care to look out for me. I’m grateful that I have groups of friends who bonded due to a shared context, and yet still continue to make the effort to maintain those friendships despite that context no longer being shared. I’m grateful that I have friends who are open to sharing their perspectives when they disagree, and also friends who actively challenge my perspective when they think that I’m wrong about something.

I’m grateful that I get to live in Vancouver where the weather is moderate, there is a plethora of amazing food, and I’ve had the opportunity to meet so many cool people. I’m grateful that I get to play badminton and volleyball with kind and talented people. And I’m grateful that public transportation allows me to get to where I need to be without needing a car of my own.

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